HELLO HELLO.

Please finish reading this as it will be extremely interesting.

What the hell right.. I need to write one thousand six hundred word essay. cause I never write eight hundred yesterday. ONE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED LEH. not one hundred okay. If you think that’s very little, you are wrong, so wrong! SO SO SO SO SO WRONG! Cause it’s a lot! A LOT!! you know what is a lot. a lot is a lot! *screams hysterically* How can he be like that.. I am a very busy woman you know. So busy I don’t even have the time to shit! I am becoming whats that word. I am becoming so.. so.. what is cannot shit in english. so.. OH YES I AM BECOMING SO CONSTIPATED! Time like flies so fast can! I do finish my english essay in Qian Hui’s house ah, then 6 o clock already! Time like got wings like that fly faster than aeroplane. Incredible! Travel like the bullet train like that. Fast until don’t even know it is moving. then I went to popular in westmall to buy my stationary. Or is it stationey? You know where is westmall? It is in Bukit Batok. Then when I went to QianHui’s house, I had my sumptous and delicious, mouth watering dinner. Her mother cooking is superb! you should try it one day man! I know you are drooling now. Then I had net. Net is caregroup. Or cell group. SEE. I am so holy! After net already nine plus. I take one hour to go home. ONE HOUR. not very short okay. Is not one minute, is one HOUR. one hour is SIXTY minutes!! then I reach home already 10 plus. When I finish packing my extremely messy file and the basket at my bedside, it was already 11 plus! I SO TIRED ALREADY, how to finish, you tell me la. aiyoyo. my mother was nagging at me for not sleeping early cause I got school on Friday. So I went to bed. The moment my head touched my pillow, I fell into deep sleep.. I was in slumberland. enjoying my dreams.

Okay so it was a humid Wednesday. I woke up feeling very tired, but very happy that there is PE later on. I was wearing my PE tee shirt to school. I am in Unicorn house! GREY COLOUR ROCK ON MAN! I took a bus to school, and when I alighted the bus, the sun was beating down on me and Hui Ping. Beads of perspiration clung stubbornly onto our foreheads. It was.. as clear as the clearest water you can see. The heat of the sun was so unbearable, I felt like taking out my light blur umbrella to shelter myself from the sun. But looks so like my grandmother! So I decided not to. After PE was mother tongue. There was air con! ah, heavenly. I could not help but feel like staying in the room. but the bell rang and recess was near. My stomach was howling. WORSE THAN GRUMBLING!

Then came recess. I could not help but get tempted by the mouth watering food. (actually not very watering) that I forgot to change into my uniform. Anyway, it was so bothersome! I have to go to the toilet just to change. so I decided to change it after recess. BUT. the toilet outside my class smelt so bad, you never think you would smell anything worse in your life ever again. What was worse, one of the cubicles has a very very very cute(ahem) lump of shit in the middle of nowhere! Yes, shit. S,H,I,T. SHIT. you know.. faeces. What an eye sore! it is brown in colour, in the shape of a triangle. It was such a small lump. Looks like crayon shincai’s shit. SO UGLY AND.. eww. I’m eating now please don’t make me puke.

Yes it’s totally gross and it freaks me out, imagine seeing someone else’s shit in the middle of the toilet hole!

So, I stepped out of the toilet, with a disgusted look on my face. People nowadays.. The school also. the flush spoil already don’t want to fix, then cannot flush, if you shit, then let other people see?! The cleaners also. I know shit very gross, but they must clean it up what! So dirty leh. The toilet also no toilet paper one, some more so smelly! Should put air freshener what. Should save the things must save. BUT THIS KIND OF THINGS CANNOT SAVE ONE! So back to topic, I stepped out of the toilet, and washed my hands, and ran for my life out of the toilet. then came science period. I wanted to refill my water because I was very thirsty. OH YES. The water cooler I want to complain also! The water head ah, the candy cane shape thing DROP OUT ALREADY! then so difficult to refill water, the school also don’t want to fix. I know we moving to new school already, but I say already what, some things cannot save one! Like this la. So anyway. I took my white transparent Nike waterbottle(it’s NIKE. not some market brand) to go and refill. I tell you a secret. My bottle only 14. So not very expensive la. So I was heading towards the water cooler, when I saw mr chua, which is you, going down the stairs. I don’t know why, he spun around. Do I have an evil aura? yes he spun around(not exactly, he didn’t spin. if he did I wont be writing this report, cause he would be in hospital. If he spun he would most likely fall down the steps.) and he saw me! I was so shocked, my mouth hung wide open, and I was contemplating whether to run or to stop there. anyway he has already seen me. but sadly, before I could do anything, he climbed up the stairs and with his hoarse, deep voice, he said, “veronica, yi qing, yumi and hui ping!” and guess what was his next line. GUESS LA. why dont want to guess? He said,”Why are you in your PE tee shirt? okay, you don’t need to explain. write me a eight hundred word report.” Yumi, veronica, Hui Ping, and yiqing’s mouth hung wide open. WHAT?? EIGHT HUNDRED!? so we complained and complained. From day to night, and night to day, then day to night again, and night to day again. and until now I am still complaining. why must write eight hundred? and for me, one thousand six hundred?! SO UNFAIR. I really no time on Wednesday, that fateful and sad and disappointing and bad and super idiotic day right!? you think I want one ah.. I so sad leh. everytime also will have this kind of things happen to me one. So after mr chua left, we complained and complained, and complained again. and this goes on and on and on and on. the cycle repeates itself.

I am very bored and I know you are very bored too. I really have nothing to say already. Mr Chua is a maths teacher! NOT ENGLISH. my english is good enough already, I do not need any extra practice. for your information, I am a very good girl! Then why must write so much? so do re mi fa so LA ti ME leh. okay so lame. so anyway. mr chua, I tell you a joke. I know you like to read my essay. the joke very funny one.

one day, an aeroplane was heading for a country. Then the engine broke down. but it safely reached the country. what a miracle. what was the country?

America. you know why? cause a miracle what.

This was thought out by the very wonderful and cold joker, toh huiping of class 2D1, register 36. I know you’re feeling very cold now. Please turn off your air con. but it is quite creative right? she thought of it when she was eating her breakfast. *yawns*

I am so tired. can I go sleep): why must write so many. you very evil leh. ): how can you treat like that. I am so innocent and good girl okay.

So I hav come to the end of my very inspirational speech. I hope you are enlightened and have learnt something new from this speech, and this script has made your day by making you laugh too. laughter is the medicine to everything(: I am so tired and my hands are aching): I have realized my mistake and I will remember to change into my very beautiful(…) uniform after my PE lessons. I know clementi town is already very lenient cause my friend in fairfield got booked for laughing. I really hope you will forgive me. I know you have already forgiven me la, who can resist all my crap? and I know you can never not forgive me cause humans have to bury the hatchet to stay happy. so if you don’t forgive me, you will never bury the hatchet, and you never get a chance to dirty your hands, then you will never be happy! who does not was to be happy? If you want to be happy just tell me. I am best in singapore and JB. no batam. I very high class, I am best in USA, UK also. Technology better already, I also expand my happiness to UK & USA. soon it’ll be expanded to mars. OKAY I AM SO LAME. so the moral of the speech is, you have to bury the hatchet or you will never be happy. and if you are not happy, you will grow old very fast and wrinkles will appear. so ugly right. I know(: so must be happy! I am so sorry for all the craps. hope this brightens your day( if you’re reading it in the day), brightens your night( if you are reading this at night), and brightens your afternoon, (if you are reading it in the afternoon).oh my word. I am so sleepy! my eyes are closing already! my eyelids are as heavy as 100kg. closing soon. Computer got shut down, human also have! you must get enough sleep also, or else you also will have wrinkles. then so ugly. Then you will need to spend money on SK II, or some face lifting thing. cost a bomb, atomic bomb. BOOOM only you die, just like your money boom away(: you don’t want your money boomed away right? so must sleep early. If you are reading in the day, have a good night. if you’re reading this at night, have a good night too. :p I am so sorry for not changing into my uniform but please get the toilets fixed!:D your kindness is greatly appreciated(: I have officially come to THE END. thank you for your kind attention.

:D

VERONICA